I think I just had an epiphany, but not necessarily the good kind. All this time, I've been thinking that the lack of classes where I'm actually doing constructive communicative activities with the students was my fault, that I didn't know how to plan, or I wasn't taken advantage of the times when I was allowed to contribute to planning the lesson. But now, as we are nearing the end of year exams, I realized something. It was like making a connection where before there was a huge disconnect, and suddenly the light came on.
The teachers here don't want the kids doing constructive, communication-based activities. All along I've been thinking they wanted them to, but didn't know how or were worried it would make the class unmanageable. Now I see I was wrong. They want to kids to pass their exams. That's all. They want them to learn Testing English, they don't want them to learn Actual English. I'm kind of stuck in a corner, because the English teachers tell me what kind of lessons to plan, and that doesn't give me much leeway. The worst part of that is, they always tell me to prepare the same kind of lessons: listening practice and reading practice, or worse, the dreaded, asinine wordsearch. That the teachers only care about the testing was the first part of the epiphany. The part that hit me like a bucket of ice water was when I realized that if that is all they want, then I really serve absolutely no purpose with my presence here. If all they want is for the students to learn grammar, the English teachers are perfectly capable of teaching that themselves. What JETs provide is the other component, natural English communication, and an ability to actually speak the language. THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE JET PROGRAM. In typical Japanese fashion, they have set up a system whereby they say one thing on the outside (we want our students to actually be able to speak English, not just learn the grammar), but then do something completely different in reality (like focus on testing and ignore the communication part).
For some reason, this reality just solidified in my mind today. The students have tests next week, so I'm going to the third year class on Monday, and I assumed I'd me preparing a review of some sort for the students. Nope. I've been asked to prepare listening practice and reading practice. That's all. I understand because they have a test coming up that those become the priorities. But this is always how it is.
While it's a bit comforting to know it is not entirely due to my failing that we never do communicative activities in class, it is also incredibly frustrating to realize that because a component of it is out of my control, there's not much I can do to fix it. All along I've felt like the English teachers and I were kind of in the same boat. I've been struggling trying to figure out what I was doing wrong in terms of planning effective lessons. I thought it was my fault, my inexperience. But today I began to see the situation as me battling furiously against the current (trying to bring effective communicative activities to the classroom) while the English teachers threw up roadblocks every step of the way. They never give me the opportunity to bring anything constructive to the classes. They do, but within the narrow confines of the type of activities they want. The few times I managed to force a few (slightly more) communicative activities into the classes, I felt like I was slipping one in the back door, manipulating and circumventing the JTEs. I felt sneaky. And I shouldn't feel that way, since it's my job.
It seems like everyone and everything is working against the students actually learning English. The first years are apparently complaining about the younger JTE. They say she doesn't explain the grammar in a way they understand, they play too many games in class, and she does inappropriate things like show her wedding pictures during class (it was a little booklet, and she passed it around while they were working silently in their workbooks, and many of the girls were really excited about it). I don't know how many students are complaining, but it can't be that many. In any case, the students never speak up and say when they don't understand something. When you ask them "do you understand?" you are met with blank stares. No one says anything. Of course, I'm hearing all this criticism from the other JTE, who heard it from the vice-principal, who heard if from the parents, who heard it from the kids. So that, plus the language barrier, and I'm not sure how accurate a representation I'm seeing. But it really pisses me off. The "games" the first year teacher uses in class are what I would call closer to communicative activities, the point being to get the kids' noses out of the books and have them actually speak English. But they don't seem to like that or think it's worthwhile, because it isn't directly leading to passing a test. The worst part is, I know exactly what they're feeling because I was that student in junior high. I didn't see the value of immersion in French class. I got angry because I didn't understand, and I lashed out at my teacher because of it. Now years later, and after having had much more experience with language learning, I realize there is a huge difference between "learning a language" and "learning a language for academic purposes." They are completely different things. In the short run, getting these students through their tests is the goal. That is the teachers' job. In the long run, getting the Japanese population to be able to speak better English is the goal. That is the government's job. That's why they hired the JETs. BUT. But but but but BUT.... this puts the teachers' goal and the government/JETs' goal completely at odds, and makes my life a living hell.
This is the closest I've been to completely losing it at school since September.
