One day and counting...

The Mess...

I am leaving in less than 48 hours, and I am not even close to ready. I've spent every day this week running around making sure I have everything I need, and I am losing my mind. As it turns out, moving to Japan is a very complicated process. First, there is the 50 lb weight limit for my two suitcases. Then there is the fact that I have no idea how I'm going to fit everything into two suitcases. That's problem number one.

Problem number two: Shipping things to Japan is REALLY expensive. Which means it would be cheaper to just bring a third suitcase and pay the fee. But that means I have to lug three suitcases around. Eek.

Problem number three: I have to pack a small carry-on suitcase for four days in Tokyo during orientation, before I leave for my prefecture. Which means I have to plan in advance what I'm going to need, and also what satisfies the TSA requirements, ie no razor blades in the carry on. A week without a razor blade in the summer; girls, you do the math. 

Problem number four: I'm having a nervous breakdown! This may shock some of you, but I do not handle stress very well. I have completely passed the point of rational, functional thought, and have moved into a true and honest breakdown. I simply can't stand living in a giant suitcase for another second! I have been living with boxes all around me since the beginning of June, when I began packing up my apartment in St. Louis to move home, and the mess has finally reached critical mass (see above). Somehow I have to fit all of that in a suitcase.

I have literally had to force myself to remember why I am doing all this, because there have been times in the last four days when I seriously thought, "I must be out of my mind to be doing this. This is such a hassle, I should have stayed in St. Louis, I had a life and an apartment and friends there, and the fact that I have an Art History degree doesn't by default make me unemployable." I have to muster up a serious amount faith that this adventure into which I am running almost completely blind is going to be amazing. I never heard from my predecessor, so I don't know anything about the school, two days ago they changed my apartment so I don't know exactly where or how furnished my apartment is; I really know next to nothing. This is a huge leap of faith. I know rationally that it's going to work out, and it's going to be amazing, but my emotions are ruling right now, and they're telling me there's no way I'm ever going to get myself and my stuff over there. Ever.